That's it? That's how it ends?
It's not disappointing, but it's not satisfying either. In the last three parts of the book, Picoseconds, Unified Field Theory, and Bridge (pages 419-462), I was just expecting something more. I was really excited to find out what's going to happen when Cordelia finally shows up again and catches up with Elaine. But then... nothing. There is no resolution at the end of Cat's Eye. Everything is the same as before except that now Elaine is even more depressed and the readers are even angrier. This section in the book in particular really made me want to throw the book at the wall:
I know that if I turn, right now, and look ahead of me along the path, someone will be standing there. At first I think it will be myself, in my old jacket, my blue knitted hat. But then I see Cordelia. She's standing halfway up the hill, gazing back over her shoulder (Atwood 459).
When I turn finally, Cordelia is no longer there. Only a middle-aged woman, pink cheeked and bareheaded, coming down the hill toward me, in jeans and a heavy white pullover, with a dog on a green leash, a terrier. She passes me smiling, a civil, neutral smile (Atwood 460).
Why.
This scene kind of reminds me to back when Elaine had to go down to the ravine and retrieve her hat. I remember when she was just lying in the snow she saw up in the bridge what looked like a person. She thought it was Cordelia, came back for her. It wasn't Cordelia just like how this time it wasn't Cordelia either. I feel like this time she still hopes for Cordelia to come back for her, thus the inventive appearance of Cordelia. The disillusionment Elaine experiences hurts her because Cordelia never came. But why does it hurt her? How much does Cordelia mean to Elaine?
I am still kind of confused about Elaine's relationship with Cordelia. I am confused at how this kind of relationship can happen. I don't understand it. At some point in their relationship, they both are mean to each other, yet they call each other best friends. How can you call someone who wounds you constantly your best friend? Moreover, how can you stay in that relationship?
This scene kind of reminds me to back when Elaine had to go down to the ravine and retrieve her hat. I remember when she was just lying in the snow she saw up in the bridge what looked like a person. She thought it was Cordelia, came back for her. It wasn't Cordelia just like how this time it wasn't Cordelia either. I feel like this time she still hopes for Cordelia to come back for her, thus the inventive appearance of Cordelia. The disillusionment Elaine experiences hurts her because Cordelia never came. But why does it hurt her? How much does Cordelia mean to Elaine?
I am still kind of confused about Elaine's relationship with Cordelia. I am confused at how this kind of relationship can happen. I don't understand it. At some point in their relationship, they both are mean to each other, yet they call each other best friends. How can you call someone who wounds you constantly your best friend? Moreover, how can you stay in that relationship?
Two old women giggling over tea...
I don't understand this relationship, yet I've been through one myself. Still, I lack the comprehension of how such can occur. I know though, that one element that can glue two people together is need. Both Cordelia and Elaine need each other even though their expressions of need look like a competition for power. When she was younger, Elaine never knew what it was like to have a girl as a friend. To me Cordelia always wanted to fit in. Both of them need each other to complete a part of their lives that's missing.
Perhaps Elaine and Cordelia's relationship never worked out the way they both wanted it to be. I don't think there was a time when they were just happy to be best friends. They had to be mean to each other, compete for power, and pretend everything's all right just to make sure they won't lose each other. ELaine's persistent insecurity led her to call mean words safety. Her search for lasting friendship and love steered her to believe there was genuine love in sex and affairs.
When Elaine went to the bridge after her retrospective, I noticed some interesting things. First of all, I thought she was going to jump over, commit suicide. I really thought she would have the nerve to do it because she's done it before. She didn't though, which was surprisingly a little disappointing. I also thought that she might go down the ravine to dig out Stephen's jar of marbles. Nope. Speaking of the jar, I noticed something interesting about Stephen's jar of marbles on page 458. "Stephen's jar of light is buried down there somewhere." What's more interesting is the sentence immediately after that: "At this time of year the day darkens early." There's no doubt in my mind that there's a connection between the two sentences. The jar of marbles is written instead as "jar of light", which indicates hope to me. This is more significant with the information that the day darkens early. This sort of hints to me that Elaine still has hope even in her darkest days.
Another significant section that I picked up was the part when Elaine "saw" Cordelia standing halfway up the hill. When Elaine saw her, she saw herself. "There is the same shame, the sick feeling in my body, the same knowledge of my own wrongness, awkwardness, weakness; the same wish to be loved; the same loneliness; the same fear" (459). At this point she realizes that both of them are struggling with the same thing and Elaine wants to help. She knows how painful the wounds are, how deadly those emotions are, and she doesn't want Cordelia to suffer. She then becomes the cloaked woman she "saw" that floated and helped her, saying the same words the woman said. "I reach out my arms to her, bend down, hands open to show I have no weapon. It's all right, I say to her, You can go home now" (459).
Here's my own simple interpretation of those words: "Cordelia, forgive me. I don't want to hurt you. I want to help you."
I doubt Elaine realizes her need for companionship until she goes back to Toronto for her retrospective, where her mind was inundated with memories from the past and of course... Cordelia. That's why she left Cordelia alone in the rest home, never to see her again. That's why she gave up on her when Cordelia was failing. That's why she said mean things to Cordelia. The value of their friendship was not visible to Elaine. She has let go of herself. Come what may.
But now it hits her. "This is what I miss, Cordelia: not something that's gone, but something that will never happen. Two old women giggling over their tea" (Atwood 462).
When Elaine went to the bridge after her retrospective, I noticed some interesting things. First of all, I thought she was going to jump over, commit suicide. I really thought she would have the nerve to do it because she's done it before. She didn't though, which was surprisingly a little disappointing. I also thought that she might go down the ravine to dig out Stephen's jar of marbles. Nope. Speaking of the jar, I noticed something interesting about Stephen's jar of marbles on page 458. "Stephen's jar of light is buried down there somewhere." What's more interesting is the sentence immediately after that: "At this time of year the day darkens early." There's no doubt in my mind that there's a connection between the two sentences. The jar of marbles is written instead as "jar of light", which indicates hope to me. This is more significant with the information that the day darkens early. This sort of hints to me that Elaine still has hope even in her darkest days.
Another significant section that I picked up was the part when Elaine "saw" Cordelia standing halfway up the hill. When Elaine saw her, she saw herself. "There is the same shame, the sick feeling in my body, the same knowledge of my own wrongness, awkwardness, weakness; the same wish to be loved; the same loneliness; the same fear" (459). At this point she realizes that both of them are struggling with the same thing and Elaine wants to help. She knows how painful the wounds are, how deadly those emotions are, and she doesn't want Cordelia to suffer. She then becomes the cloaked woman she "saw" that floated and helped her, saying the same words the woman said. "I reach out my arms to her, bend down, hands open to show I have no weapon. It's all right, I say to her, You can go home now" (459).
Here's my own simple interpretation of those words: "Cordelia, forgive me. I don't want to hurt you. I want to help you."
I doubt Elaine realizes her need for companionship until she goes back to Toronto for her retrospective, where her mind was inundated with memories from the past and of course... Cordelia. That's why she left Cordelia alone in the rest home, never to see her again. That's why she gave up on her when Cordelia was failing. That's why she said mean things to Cordelia. The value of their friendship was not visible to Elaine. She has let go of herself. Come what may.
But now it hits her. "This is what I miss, Cordelia: not something that's gone, but something that will never happen. Two old women giggling over their tea" (Atwood 462).
Elaine wishes her relationship with Cordelia could have been better and would've lasted until they're old. She wishes things could've been different. Because who does she have now? No father, no mother, no brother. Only a husband and two grown children that she doesn't talk about that often. Racked by disappointment and maybe even guilt, all Elaine can do now is cry. But crying won't summon the past back.
You're dead, Cordelia.
No I'm not.
Yes you are. You're dead.
Lie down (454).
It's hard to put what I learned through this book into words, and that's probably why Margaret Atwood had to write a whole novel to craft the message. I can relate to Elaine and have experienced the same longing for better ends. This book should urge each of us to look at our own relationships with other people and how we're treating them. If I were to say one thing that I learned from Cat's Eye it would be that we're all looking for the same thing: love. It maybe cliche but it all always goes back to love.
What is friendship? Why can't we understand that each of us wants to be seen, to belong, and to be loved? Why do we need to cover it up? It's that age old saying: You never know what you have until it's gone. We hear and we never learn.
What is friendship? Why can't we understand that each of us wants to be seen, to belong, and to be loved? Why do we need to cover it up? It's that age old saying: You never know what you have until it's gone. We hear and we never learn.